Pumpkin

Long, long ago when female high school guidance counselors were mandated to wear long flowing printed calico skirts, large tortoise shell eyeglasses and sensible sandals they called all the female students "pumpkin".

The horrors inflicted by guidance counselors are many. I bet many can recall the faint air of depression, fake can do attitude with a few coats of desperation upon the first meeting. Woe to the student that actually follows the advice of above described "counselor". Unsurprisingly, she was never married nor involved in a relationship other than being a provider of "hope and (mis)information" for students.

She came equipped with flyers and pamphlets which never pertained to the matter on hand and at least two years out of date. Her office door was always open and the desk was baited with a large jar of generic multi- year aged jelly beans to entice those without selective taste buds.

"Counselor" positively crooned with glee the one time she knew all students would need to darken her door: the start of Junior year in which to advise them about the SAT and what colleges to attend. She would happily espouse the reasons to attend the state college, study hard and attend all the classes regularly.

The male students were mercifully released in a short time period but the girls aka pumpkins were subjected to an extra 15 minutes deluge of her personal ,private sufferings and why it was so very important for females to work doubly hard to be accepted and recognized for efforts.

Many a bewildered student fled her office only to be reassured later the Counselor was merely projecting her frustrations at the lack of life accomplishments achieved.

Oh, how much happier she would have been if only she hooked up with the gym teacher or even anyone to distract her from haunting the student body.